


Last Love

by MissErikaCourt



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 18:37:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11258625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissErikaCourt/pseuds/MissErikaCourt
Summary: Levi is faced with his greatest challenge yet, confronting his love for Petra. Just before the fifty-seventh expedition beyond the walls.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired after watching two OVA episodes of Attack on Titan that gave us a glimpse into Levi's past. If you ship Levi and Petra, you might hate me after this fic. Hope you like it!

This expedition could be their last, just like every other expedition they had ever gone on as a team. And just like every other time they’d gone beyond the wall, Levi couldn’t help but fear for his team’s lives. One life he was especially fearful for, but he could never admit that to her. He wasn’t supposed to have developed feelings for her, he’d told himself he wouldn’t. He’d told himself that he would never become attached to anyone ever again. Not after what happened before, when he was finally able to come above the ground with Isabel and Farland. They hadn’t lasted long above the ground, and yet he still persisted. He was still alive, and for some reason he just kept fighting.

He looked over at Petra, her infectious smile plastered on her face as she talked and joked with the other members of the Scout Regiment around her. How could she be so at ease still? Even after all the time Levi had spent beyond the wall, he was never relaxed before an expedition. Petra realized that he was watching her and turned her smile his way before he cast his gaze downward. He always wondered why she was still so nice to him, even though all he ever did was act like a complete ass around her. Somehow, he thought she might understand how he felt. It was as if she could see right into his soul, like she knew every little thing that still tormented him about that day. His first expedition beyond the wall had changed him forever.

“Levi, are you okay?” She asked, her voice sweet with a hint of concern.

“Fine. Don’t worry about me. Just remember the plans.” He answered, his voice not mimicking any of the tones of hers. Why did he always have to be this way toward her? He felt as though if he expressed his feelings to her it would become a distraction. That they would both spend their efforts and energy in the field worrying about each other instead of the objective, and this particular expedition needed both of their full attention. He couldn’t let that happen, he had to stay his course.

“Would it kill you to loosen up a little, Levi Heichou?” She asked. She only called him that when she was trying to get a rise out of him. Captain Levi. So formal. Too formal for them.

“It might.” He deadpanned, shifting his eyes to look at her once again. She’d gotten closer than she was before, and he hadn’t realized that no one else as even in the room any more until that moment.

“It’s a serious job, going beyond the wall, but we’re well equipped to deal with whatever is thrown at us. You’re the best at your job, after all. Not to mention you have the best squad backing you up.” She said with a grin. He couldn’t help but smile a little, even if it only translated to a smirk on his face. She bit her lip, the same way she always does when he smirks at her like that. There was no denying that the two of them had chemistry, it showed in just about every way imaginable. The way they fought together, the way they talked about expeditions and plans, but they were both afraid to act. Too afraid to get attached to someone that could be dead the very next day. No, it was better this way. It was better letting the tension build and build until they couldn’t stand it anymore and threw themselves at each other. Would that day ever come, though? If not now, when? Fifty-six other expeditions had come and gone without incident for squad Levi, the Special Operations Team, the best of the best of the Scouts, but any expedition could be the last. He wanted so badly to tell her just how he felt in that moment, but just like every other time he let the opportunity pass.

“You’d better get some sleep, Levi, we’re leaving first thing in the morning you know.”

“Yes. Have you already eaten?” He asked somewhat timidly, which he would even admit was strange for him.

“No, I was just about to go now. Would you like to join me?” She asked, and all he did was nod. He slung the brown Scout Regiment jacket that he always wore over his shoulder, adjusted his ascot and walked out the door with her. In a different time and place, they might go home together after their meal. He had no doubt that, if the titans had never existed, he would have already made her a permanent fixture in his life. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked beside her, ignoring the enamored gazes of all the younger soldiers. They’d all heard of him, the famous Captain Levi of the Scouts, and their stares always made him feel uneasy.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go a different direction to the mess hall? There are a lot of people this way.” Petra asked, glancing over at him as they walked at a leisurely pace. It was always the female recruits that stared the most. It made him uneasy, even more so than just the attention he got from being himself anyway.

“Erwin says it's good for the new Scouts to see me.” He replied, regurgitating the reason Erwin had given him to be out and about in the city while they weren't working.

“Erwin doesn't always know what's right for you, Levi.” She said, almost chastising him. She looped her arm through his and moved closer to him. He was taken aback, and quickly looked down at her while they walked.

“Petra...” He was lost for words. What in the world was she doing?

“Would you rather the female recruits keep staring at you or would you rather them think we're together?” She asked, pulling his hand out of his pocket and lacing her fingers through his. “I'm only trying to do you a favor, Levi Heichou.”

“Thank you...” He said after a considerable amount of thought. This was a dangerous, thin line they were walking. They were getting too comfortable just being with each other. Letting their feelings seep out too much. If they weren't careful, the exact thing he'd been trying to avoid would happen.

“Levi, what exactly was that about earlier? When you told me to be careful? You've never done that before.” Petra asked as they rounded the corner, away from the prying eyes of the rest of the public. They'd elected to take an alleyway the rest of the way to the mess hall.

“It was just what it sounded like. I just want you to be extra careful on this expedition. The female titan is unpredictable. We don't know what could happen. Furthermore, Eren has no idea how to control his powers. He can't control himself when he's a titan and we don't know if he can even control the shift. Our squad is in charge of him. We'll be in close proximity. I want to make sure you're ready to get away from him if you need to. We have to be ready for everything.”

“So you've had that discussion with Eld? Oluo? Gunther? What about the rest of the recruits that will be a part of this mission? I trust you've talked to them about how careful they need to be?” He was caught off-guard. She'd caught on and he should have known that she would. Part of his attraction to her was her incredible intelligence. He froze, unable to think of what to say next, unable to move. It brought their walk to a screeching halt.

“Levi, I know that you care about me.”

“Petra...”

“You don't have to say anything. There's no good way to go about it. Our duty outweighs our feelings for one another, right?”

“It's not that...”

“Then what are you afraid of? There are so many others within the ranks of our military that are together. I...I love you, Levi. Not just because you're my Captain or because you're someone that I look up to. I love you for the person that you are. I don't know why you're so hurt, or why you've put up this wall between you and everyone around you, and I don't need to know right now. But I think you need to know how I feel, so I'm telling you now. Because there may never be another chance after tomorrow.”

“I want you to know. About why I can't let myself get attached.”

“You're not ready to tell me yet, and that's fine. You don't have to. Just know that I love you, Levi. Let that help you through whatever you're struggling with.” She smiled and squeezed his hand before she began to walk again, puling him along with her. He wanted to tell her about Isabel and Farland, but the time wasn't right. He would tell her soon, but not tonight. Tonight he wanted to spend just being with her, and maybe he could forget about the looming danger in the near future.

When they left the alleyway they were met with inquisitive stares from their fellow soldiers. Their hands were still locked, Petra pulling Levi along the street while he tried to look casual. He was used to the stares, he was even used to some hushed whispers about him, but now the whispers were different.

“Levi Heichou and Petra are holding hands. Is that even allowed? Isn't he her superior?” A blonde girl wearing a Military Police uniform was whispering to her red haired friend of the same regiment.

“There has to be some sort of rule against it. Maybe she's trying to win his favor somehow. Putting in a little extra work to climb the ranks.” The red haired girl said with a smirk. Levi yanked his hand away from Petra then and stopped right in front of the girls, who just stood staring at him.

“I'd suggest you learn to mind your own business, and stop spreading rumors about something you know nothing about. Do all of you people think I don't hear what you say when I pass you by? Normally I don't give it the time of day, but you will not slander her in front of me.” Levi said, a stern tone in his voice, his eyes fixed on the instigators. He pointed to Petra. “Apologize for the falsehoods you're spreading about a good soldier.”

“I don't take orders from the Scout Regiment. And I'm just saying what's on everyone's minds.” The blonde didn't look scared any more, she looked defiant, as if she was trying to prove herself somehow.

“Levi, it doesn't matter, come on.” Petra urged, reaching for his hand again, but he all but smacked her hand away and balled his fists at his sides

“It matters, Petra, they won't talk about you that way.”

“It's probably true. Why else would she be sticking so close to an emotionless prude like you. There's no way the two of you are involved romantically. I doubt you even know the meaning of the word, _Captain_.” She all but spit the word at him, mocking his position. At that point something happened that no one ever would have expected. Petra went from the timid victim to the fierce warrior in the blink of an eye. Before Levi knew what was happening the blonde girl was on her back, Petra straddling her chest, throwing punches. He reacted quickly, but perhaps not quickly enough. The blonde girl was bloodied before he could pull Petra away.

“Get that bitch away from me!” The blonde girl yelled as she scrambled to her feet.

“Don't ever talk about him that way again!” Petra screamed, fighting against Levi's grasp to get back at her. “You don't know what we've been through! You couldn't even imagine! I bet you've never even seen a titan! We're on the front lines every day!”

“Petra, that's enough.” Levi said, switching from a casual demeanor to an authoritative one.

“Levi, she can't say those things about you!”

“I said that's enough! It doesn't bother me. Come on, let's go.” He released Petra only after watching her for a moment to be sure that she wouldn't lunge at the girl again. He smoothed back his disheveled hair and looked right at the blonde girl again. “Don't let yourself get into any more trouble. I may not be around to bail you out next time. Military Police come with an ego, I get that, but make sure you know how to back yourself up.” With that he took Petra's hand again and pulled her away. Neither of them looked back at the crowd that had gathered around the fight, but they could both feel every set of eyes watching them as they left.

“You shouldn't let people talk to you like that. You're a highly respected veteran soldier, Levi.” Petra said.

“I could say the same for you.”

“I'm not a commanding officer of the most highly regarded Scout Regiment squad.”

“That doesn't matter.”

“It doesn't matter?” Petra stopped, pulling her hand away from Levi and crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Why do you think of yourself in this way Levi? You have accomplished amazing things in your life. How can you just stand by and let people like her mock you? People who don't even know what it's like.”

“Their opinions don't matter because of everything you just said. They don't know what it's like, and I hope they never do, because then they'd be like me. No one deserves to be like me.” He looked away for a brief moment and looked back to see a look that he'd never seen on Petra's face before. She looked like she might cry. “Can we go to your house instead, Petra? I don't think being in public is the best for either of us right now.”

“Of course. It's this way.” She started walking and Levi caught up. They didn't reach for each other's hands any more. They simply walked in silence to Petra's house. She opened the door to let him in and went immediately to the kitchen, scrambling for something to eat. Levi sat down at the small table that sat in the center of the room, looking around inquisitively.

“I don't need food, if that's what you're looking for.” He said, trying to keep her from going to too much trouble.

“I don't have much.” She said, setting a bowl of fruit on the table. He took an apple and turned it over and over in his hands.

“I want to tell you what happened. Why I am the way I am.” He said, looking up at her suddenly. He brown eyes went wide with shock, but she tried to play it off.

“I told you, you don't have to tell me. I can tell you aren't ready to yet.

“I want to. Like you said, we don't know what our futures hold. I want you to know about me.”

“No.” She said, turning her nose up.

“No?”

“I don't want you to tell me that yet, I want you to tell me something else. I don't need you to tell me why you're afraid to love me, Levi, I want you to tell me that you do.”

“Petra...”

“I already know that you do, I just want you to admit it. You think that I don't catch you watching me all the time, but I've always known. Why can't you just let yourself love me?”

“I...Petra....” He didn't know how to answer. For the majority of his life above ground he'd been denying himself these things, he couldn't just change in the blink of an eye.

“I love you Levi, all I want is for you to return that feeling. If you just admit it, it doesn't matter what happens tomorrow, I'll die happy if that's what my future holds. I just want to know.”

“Petra...I...I love you.” He closed his eyes as he spoke those three words. He felt ashamed of himself, but also free in a way. He had kept his feelings locked away for so long, it felt good to finally let her know how special she was to him.

“I knew you did.” She said, walking over to sit on his lap, he was a little surprised, but he let her guide his hands to rest on her hips as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He'd never even really given himself the time to just be with a woman, even before he came to the surface, but it felt oddly natural being this way with Petra. She hugged him tightly, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt even this small happiness. “You don't know how happy this makes me.”

“I'm sorry if I've caused you any pain, Petra, understand that it wasn't my intention. I just don't know how this will work. You have to swear to me that you'll still obey orders in the field, that you won't let me being in danger effect the way you make decisions. It could throw off the chemistry of the whole squad...”

“Levi, don't worry. I won't let it effect me. I'll behave the same way I always have. My behavior has always been for the benefit of you and the rest of the squad. I won't let you down.” She kissed his cheek and rose off of his lap. “Are you sure you don't want anything to eat? I think I would like to get something before bed.”

“If that's what you want to do, I'll go with you. I don't want to be alone right now.” Levi answered, still trying to process everything that had happened. She took his hand, pulling him out of his chair to stand close to her. Face to face. She was shorter than him, which was refreshing given his stature. She was basically perfect in every single way. How could he have let himself stay away from her for so long? She pulled him out the door and to the mess hall, and oddly enough, neither of them heard the gossip and whispers as they walked hand in hand down the street. After they'd gotten their food, they found an empty table and sat down, but it wasn't long before they were joined by the rest of their squad.

“The big day is tomorrow! Are you ready, Captain?” Eld asked, sounding excited about the whole ordeal.

“I'm always prepared for an expedition. Not being prepared would mean certain death, for myself and all of you” Levi replied as Petra sat beside him in silence.

“What about you, Petra? What do you think of Yeager? Do you think he'll be any trouble?” Oluo asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“I'm not sure. Although, from what I've heard about Eren's personality he'll get us into plenty of trouble without even lifting a finger. Perhaps that's why our squad is in charge of him.”

“Our squad is in charge of him because he's dangerous.” Gunther chimed in, a mouthful of whatever he had been feverishly shoveling into it. “We're there in case we need to kill him. You were at the trial. If it were up to me I would have let Levi continue to beat him until he was dead.”

“We should be careful, but Eren is also an asset. If he can learn to control that power humanity might have a chance again.”

“A titan is a titan, Petra. You heard what Ackerman said about him. When he was a titan he swung at her with the intention to kill. He can't control what he's doing.”

“Yet.” Levi said.

“Sorry?” Eld asked, unsure what his Captain meant.

“He doesn't know how to control it _yet_. He will. Eren has a strong will. When he sets his mind to something he does it. I'm not saying to let your guard down around him, but keep in mind how valuable he can really be to us.”

“Yeah, guys, obviously Eren would be pretty valuable to us. I mean, he's on our side and he can turn into a titan, it's just common sense.” Oluo said, again trying to imitate Levi. It was something Petra hated.

“Oluo, stop trying to be Levi Heichou. You know how I hate it when you act smarter than you are.” Petra said, and even Levi could feel the sting of her words toward their squad mate. Oluo didn't say anything else, he just focused on his meal for the rest of the time they were there. One by one their squad mates left until they were finally alone again. The mess hall would be closing soon, and they would have to go to their homes to rest up for the expedition, but neither of them wanted to leave the other's side. If he could, Levi would make this night go on forever, but the real world is rarely so kind.

“Levi, do you care if I stay with you a little longer? I don't want to be left alone yet.” Petra asked as they walked back out onto the street. Levi nodded, placing his arm around her shoulders as they walked. He couldn't recall the last time he felt so carefree around someone. That was wrong, he could remember. It had been with Isabel and Farland. They made him feel like everything in the world would be completely fine. Like he had nothing to worry about as long as they were by his side. Perhaps Petra could be that for him again. Perhaps now he could finally go on living his life. He wouldn't have any regrets anymore. He could let himself love one more time.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked as they walked slowly through the abandoned streets. People rarely came out at night in the city, so they were completely alone.

“somewhere that we can look at the stars.” She answered. “I've always loved to gaze at the night sky, even when I was a little girl. Don't you?”

“More than you could even imagine.”

They walked until they found a grassy hill where they could lay down and look straight up. Uninhibited by buildings or trees. Petra laid close to him, her hands resting on her stomach. He laid with his hands behind his head. He could never get enough of just looking up. It was a luxury that he hadn't had in the first part of his life, to look up and just see endless space above him. It was one of the only things that made him feel like life might somehow be worth living, even after all the shit he'd been through.

“Why do you like the stars so much?” Petra asked, turning her head to look at him. His gaze never faltered, he just continued to stare up as he spoke.

“Because years ago I could never see them.”

“What do you mean?” She rolled onto her side, propping her head up on her hand.

“Years ago, I lived in an underground city in Stohess District. Not many people know about it. We couldn't see the sky at all down there. We were made to live like insects underneath the earth. We were never allowed to come to the surface, and if we were allowed, we were sent back shortly after. People can't live in the dark like that. It changes you.”

“How did you get here?” She asked, obviously interested in his narrative.

“Petra, these are the parts of my past that you didn't want to hear earlier in the night. Are you sure you want me to go on?”

“Just tell me how you got here. I don't need to know any more right now.”

“Myself and my two best friends were hired to do a job for a nobleman on the surface.”

“What kind of a job?”

“A hit.” Levi deadpanned, not wanting to look at her expression. She probably thought he was a monster.

“You mean...you were hired to kill someone?”

“Yes. I was a criminal underground. My friends Isabel and Farland were too. We taught ourselves how to use 3DM gear that we stole from the Military Police that were stationed down there to guard us.”

“You mean you never had any formal training at all?” She asked, her eyes wide in amazement.

“I just had a knack for it.”

“That's amazing. Levi Heichou, no wonder you became who you are today.”

“Sometimes I wish I hadn't become who I am today.” He said, rolling onto his side to look at her. He was filled with regrets, but being with her wasn't one of them. Not right now, at least.

“Did your friends stay above the ground as well?”

“For a short time, yes. We were all Scouts. Erwin hand picked the three of us.”

“You all must have been very promising recruits then. Where are they now?”

“Isabel and Farland...have been dead for a very long time.”

“Levi, I'm so sorry.”

“You couldn't have known.”

“How did they die...?”

“An abnormal. It was only their second encounter with a titan. If I had been there...”

“You can't predict something like that, Levi. You were doing your duty to the Scouts. Obviously you were needed somewhere else at the time.”

“Petra...the nobleman hired us to kill Erwin. That's why I was separated from Isabel and Farland, I was going to do the job I was sent to do. If I had just stayed with them instead of going off alone to do a job and get petty revenge...I could have saved them both.”

“Levi...”

“When I found them it was moments after the attack. The damn thing was still chewing on Farland when I found Isabel's head on the ground at my feet. That's all that was left of her, Petra...just her head. I don't even remember what happened after that. I blacked out and the next thing I knew I was standing beside the titan's body, the rest of the Scouts around me, and Erwin telling me that the rest of my squad was pathetic for dying. That was the last time I let myself become attached to anyone that I fight the titans with until now. Losing people is easier if you don't form emotional bonds with them.”

“That's why you wouldn't allow yourself to admit that you loved me.”

“That's why I'm still afraid that I'm doing the wrong thing. Tomorrow is an uncertain thing. We've got the most dangerous job. If the female titan comes...we could all lose our lives.”

“We won't. We're all strong. We've been doing this for a very long time. We'll keep Eren safe and we'll all make it back home alive. I can just feel it.”

“Petra, you're the only person I've ever told about this. Promise me you won't tell anyone else.”

“Of course I promise, and just to make sure you know that I'm telling the truth...” She leaned over and placed the softest kiss on his lips before looking back up to him. “I'll seal it with a kiss. Now I can never tell another soul.” She rolled onto her back again after that and Levi did the same, their sides barely touching as they gazed at the stars together until they fell into a deep, comfortable sleep. They were only woken up by the sunrise the next morning, and they had somehow ended up entwined in each other's arms. Levi kissed Petra's forehead, causing her to stir.

“Petra, it's morning. We have to get ready.” He said gently trying to wake her. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes before smiling up at him.

“Today's the day, then.” She said, sitting up and stretching her arms toward the sky.

“I suppose it is.” Levi said bitterly. He couldn't help but think of the worst that could happen on the expedition, but he had to put those thoughts aside, he had a job to do. Now he couldn't be Levi, Petra's love. He had to be Captain Levi of the Scout Regiment's Special Operations Team. “I need to go home to get ready. I'll see you and the rest of the squad at the gates.”

“I'll bring Eren and make sure he's ready.” Petra answered. “And Levi, we probably shouldn't do this while everyone is around, so I'll do it now. I love you. Please be safe.” She leaned over and kissed him deeply before rising from the grass and dusting herself off. Levi rose as well and pulled her close to him, getting in what could be their last embrace, savoring the scent of her hair.

“I love you, Petra. Please be safe.” They broke their embrace and she smiled before they parted ways and Captain Levi took complete control again.


	2. Chapter 2

All had gone according to plan thus far. Levi hated that he couldn’t tell Petra the real plan, but he knew Erwin had been right about keeping it a secret. Levi trusted Petra with everything, but this was strictly need to know, and she didn’t. They had successfully lured the female titan into the forest where they would have the advantage, but even so there were too many casualties. She knew every move they were going to make before they made it. She crushed their comrades against trees as she followed them, and no one seemed to be able to slow her down. It was all he could do to keep going.

“Captain, she’s getting too close!” Petra yelled up to him as they barreled through the forest, looking back at the titan that was still gaining on them. He didn’t say a word, though, he just kept riding.

“Captain, give us your orders!” Oluo yelled forward, but still no reply from Levi.

“Captain Levi, what do we do?!” Eren finally yelled, unable to restrain himself any longer. Levi was surprised he was able to suppress his emotions for as long as he had. He thought it would be a good time to give them some kind of answer now.

“Stay your course. We need to keep going forward.” He finally said, but it didn’t seem to satisfy the squad.

“She’s catching up too fast! She’ll be on us in seconds!” Eld shouted toward the front of the group.

“Captain, please!” Petra yelled, the desperation in her voice was killing him. Did she really believe that he would let her get snatched up by the titan?

“Let the squad behind us do their job and keep riding. Our primary objective is to protect Eren!” Levi said calmly, as if death wasn’t stomping up behind them. “Everyone, cover your ears.” Levi loaded a flare into his gun and shot it straight up. It made a high pitched sound similar to that of a dog whistle.

“An acoustic round?” Gunther questioned, but Levi kept silent. All part of the plan.

“I can’t just sit here and watch out comrades die!” Eren said, raising his hand to his mouth.

“Eren, what are you doing? You’re only allowed to do that if your life is in danger! You promised us!” Petra said, trying to get Eren to stand down.

“You’re not wrong.” Levi suddenly chimed in, and Eren looked at him in shock. “If you want to do it, do it. I can tell, he’s a real monster. And it has nothing to do with his titan power. No matter what power you use to suppress him, no matter what cage you put him in, he will never submit to anyone. Eren, the difference between your decision and ours is experience. But you don’t have to rely on that. Choose. Believe in yourself, or believe in the Scout Regiment and me. I don’t know...I never have...I can believe in my own abilities, or the choices of my comrades that I trust...but no one ever knows how it will turn out. So choose for yourself...whichever decision you’ll regret the least.”

“Eren! You need to have faith in us! We put all our trust in Levi Heichou, and you need to as well. The squad doesn’t work any other way.” Petra said, her words echoing through Levi’s head. “Please, believe in us.”

“What’s it going to be, Eren? We can’t wait all day for you to choose.” Levi urged, glancing back at Eren as he spoke.

“I’m going forward!” He exclaimed, and they stayed their course, running as fast as their horses could carry them. They only rode forward for a little while longer before they saw more Scouts, and they had a trap waiting for the female. Their squad rode past and the next thing they knew, a deafening barrage of traps were sprung on the titan. She was held in place, although no one knew for how long she would stay there.

“The rest of you keep riding, Oluo will be in command. This is where I leave you. Don’t stop until you reach headquarters. Keep Eren safe at all costs.” Levi said before switching to his 3DM Gear and going back toward the titan. He didn’t go without one last glance at Petra, though. At least she would be relatively safe, only having to deal with normal titans from here on out. He was the one that would be in danger now. She watched him as he left, but turned her head back toward her objective. He knew he could count on her to keep going, regardless of her own feelings. He landed on the branch that Erwin stood on, watching the female titan struggle against her restraints.

“The plan worked well.” He said, looking at his commander, the man he had been hired to kill all those years ago. “Now we’ll finally get to see the person hiding in that one’s nape.”

“Did you have any casualties?” Erwin asked, never taking his eyes off of his prey.

“The squad behind us gave their lives to ensure we could make it here. Without them we couldn’t have done it.” Levi answered, trying not to let any emotion show in his report.

“I see.” Erwin replied, pausing for a moment. “Everyone, fire the back up restraints! Fire everything you have at it! We can’t afford to let it get loose!”

Once the restraints were fired, Levi zipped up to the female titan, landing on her head. He couldn’t wait to slice her up. She’d killed so many of his comrades. She’d come close to killing his squad. She wasn’t going to get away with doing it again. He would end her here and now if he had to. If it meant that no one else would die.

“You must be terrified in there, knowing that there’s nothing that you can do to escape. This wasn’t part of your plan, was it? You’ve underestimated us. You might have size on us, but we’ve got more brains. Tell me, what’s it like knowing that you’re about to be outed? We’ll have to make sure we can get you back safely for questioning. I hope you don’t mind if we slice off your limbs in order to do so. That’ll be a treat for me. Are you having fun now? I am. You’ve killed too many of my people to let you go unpunished now.” Levi said, drawing his sword, a devilish smirk on his lips. He wondered what Petra would think if she saw him right now. If she saw just how much of a monster he could be, would she even still think of him the same way? He was thinking about that when the female unleashed a scream that threatened to deafen them all. She kept screaming for several minutes before she stopped, and Levi could swear he saw a smile on her face.

“What was that? A death throe?” Someone around him asked, but he wasn’t distracted.

“Oh, you scared me for a moment. That’s not easily done, congratulations. Now, on with the plan.”

“Levi, wait!” He heard Erwin yell from the tree he’d been standing on. He looked over and Mike was standing next to him. “Titans from all directions!”

“What?” Levi said in a sort of gasp that he could probably only hear himself. He looked around to see titans charging at him from every direction.

“Get out of there, Levi!” Erwin ordered, and Levi zipped to higher ground before the first titan attacked the female, tearing at her flesh. “Everyone, protect the female with your lives!”

Levi didn’t hesitate, he started his attack as soon as the order was given, but even if he had his whole squad here there was no way they could take care of all the titans that were converging on their location. He was absolutely covered in titan blood before Erwin gave the call to fall back. It was so hot he could hardly stand it. He landed on the tree with Erwin again, watching as the horde of titans devoured what was left of the female.

“She won. The enemy was willing to give up everything to keep her secret hidden. This mission is a failure.” Erwin said as Levi stood beside him, both of them just watching what was unfolding before them.

“I need to go regroup with my squad. We’ll meet you back at HQ.” Levi said, preparing to take off in the direction he’d left them.

“Refill your gas before you go.”

“No, I think I have plenty to make it.”

“That’s an order, Levi.” Erwin said, shifting his eyes to look at his subordinate.

“Very well...” Levi answered, and went off to refill before he continued. He wondered to himself why Erwin would insist on something like that, but decided not to question his orders. He trusted his judgment, did as he was told, and continued on with his objective. It was made abundantly clear why he was given that order as he continued, though. Moving toward his squad, he found Gunter hanging from a tree, the wounds on his body suggested he’d been attacked by someone wearing a 3DM Device. He went past, not stopping to look any more, and the further he went, the more people from his squad he passed. First Gunter, then Oluo, then Eld...surely Petra made it out. Surely she was able to regroup with Eren and press on. She was the next best person in his squad behind him, there was no way she would let someone kill her. He’d all but convinced himself that she was alive when he saw her. She was at the bottom of a tree, so distorted that he almost didn’t think it was her.

“Petra!” He knew no one else was around to hear him scream her name as he descended to the roots where she was struggling to breathe. “Petra! What happened to you?”

“L-levi….Hei-chou….the titan….after...Eren...” She struggled to speak. Her spine was nearly snapped in two, blood was trickling from her mouth and ears as he pulled her over onto his lap. She didn’t struggle against him or even show any signs that the movement hurt her in any way. She’d been so injured that she couldn’t feel the pain any more.

“The female?” He asked, brushing her hair out of her bloodied face. Her eyes were fading fast.

“Yes.” She answered, taking a deep breath in. “Levi...I...I love you...”

“I know.” He answered, trying to keep the tears welling in his eyes from streaming down his face. “I love you, Petra.”

“Leave me….go save...Eren. He’s...alone.” She struggled to get the last words out before her body went completely limp in his arms. She was dead. If he hadn’t left his squad alone to do what Erwin wanted him to do he could have saved at least her. He gritted his teeth and let his tears fall. His sobs came out in heavy gasps as he held Petra’s lifeless body close to him. This was why he didn’t want to admit his feelings for her. This was exactly the reason that he had closed himself off from emotion before, and this is why he will _never_ love anyone again. He took her body to a height in the tree where he believed no other titans could get to it before leaving her there to go after Eren.

“I won’t let your death be in vain, Petra. I will kill the female titan. I don’t care who she is. She’ll pay!” He said, tearing off in the direction that he thought Eren would be headed. It didn’t take long to find out where he was, not after he heard the scream of Eren’s titan and the crashes of a titan on titan fight. On his way he found Mikasa, no doubt she was following the sounds too. She hadn’t learned her lesson about love yet. Anyone could tell that she was hopelessly in love with Eren. He’d seen how it effected her the first time, when they thought Eren had been eaten. When he emerged from his titan then, Mikasa had clutched him and sobbed in front of the whole class of recruits she had been a part of. She would learn one day that she shouldn’t get so attached, especially to someone like Eren. He was, perhaps, in the most dangerous situation out of any of the rest of the Scouts.

“Mikasa! Where’s Eren!” Levi yelled up to her as they both zipped through the trees. She fell in behind him before answering.

“He’s straight ahead. He was fighting with the female but...she took him.” She said, desperation in her voice.

“Is he alive?”

“Yes! She bit his nape and put him into her mouth, but he’s alive! She’s taking him somewhere.”

“In any other instance the correct thing to assume is that Eren is in her stomach, in which case he would probably be dead.”

“He’s alive! I know he’s alive!” Mikasa insisted, her eyes facing straight toward where the female titan was running.

“I hope you’re right.” Levi answered, and they quickened their pace toward their target. “There she is. She looks tired. She isn’t running nearly as quickly as she was before. We’ll get Eren back here. You distract her, I’ll slice her up.”

“Yes sir!” Mikasa shouted, confirming that she understood her orders, and she moved toward the female titan. She got right in front of the titan, showing how fearless she could really be when it came to protecting Eren Yeager. Levi saw it as his opportunity, and took the chance to move in. He moved around the female faster than even he thought possible. She couldn’t keep up with him in order to use any of her abilities to guard against his attack. She positioned herself against a tree right before he cut the muscles holding her arms up so that she could guard her nape, so killing her wasn’t an option. That’s fine. He would just continue slicing until he could free Eren and get out of there. Just then, he saw Mikasa moving toward the titan. She was going to try to go for the kill.

“No! Stay away!” He yelled, but she couldn’t hear him through her determination. She made it to the nape before the female titan hardened her skin. He had no choice but to get closer or Mikasa would be killed, the female titan had focused her healing on one of her arms and was poised to attack. He swooped in to save Mikasa, but landed wrong when he grabbed her. He had the feeling that his ankle was broken, or at least badly sprained, which would put him at a disadvantage. He had two green Scouts with him that he wouldn’t be able to protect by himself if something went wrong now, all because this stupid girl put vengeance ahead of duty.

He dropped Mikasa on a tree branch before he went back in, slicing open the titan’s jaw and revealing Eren. He swooped in, grabbed Eren, and went back to where he’d left Mikasa.

“We’re leaving! Come on!” He shouted to her as he shifted the burden of Eren to her.

“What about the titan?!” Mikasa yelled, no doubt wanting to go back to finish the job.

“We’re two people. She’s killed at least five squads on her own, maybe more. We’re leaving before we become casualties too. Get Eren back to the rest of the group. I’ll meet you there.”

“Yes sir!” She shouted before zipping off toward the rest of the Scouts with Eren on her back. He had another stop to make. He wouldn’t leave Petra’s body to be eaten by titans or to rot away to nothing. He would bring her back. Her father deserved that much at least. When he landed on the tree beside her she looked so different than she had just moments ago when he’d put her there. Her skin was more pale, her eyes glazed over, gazing up into nothing. She couldn’t have even seen the sky from here. Not with the canopy of trees above. He put her on his back and made his way toward the entrance of the forest. He would send someone else back for the rest of his squad later. They weren’t important to him in that moment.

When he found the rest of the Scouts they were stopped in a field. Counting the dead, probably. Wrapping them all in tarps, throwing them on a wagon to take back to their families that would just blame Erwin for their sons and daughters dying for no reason. He gingerly laid Petra next to the rest of the dead, but not before removing the Wings of Freedom from her jacket. He would keep that with him as a reminder of her from now on. As a reminder that he was wrong to let himself feel that way toward anyone again, and to make sure he never made the same mistake again. He tucked the patch into his pocket and looked around for Mikasa. She was sitting in a wagon with Eren, who was still unconscious, holding his hand as if it were the only thing tethering her to this earth.

“Captain Levi!” He heard a voice from behind him and turned to see one of the new Scouts, he recalled his name as Dieter.

“What?” He asked, not in the mood to deal with whatever bullshit this man was about to bring before him.

“Our friend, he died back there.”

“Many people and their friends died back there.”

“We got almost all the bodies except for his. We have to go back and get him!”

“Why didn’t you get him the first time you went through?”

“He was surrounded by titans. We couldn’t safely retrieve him.”

“Then you shouldn’t go back for him. Doing so would possibly put the whole group at risk. We don’t need any more deaths than we already have.” Levi said, glancing toward Petra.

“Commander Erwin!” Dieter said as Erwin walked toward them. “Please, our friend’s body is still back there. We have to go get it.”

“Count him as ‘missing in action’ along with the rest of the bodies we couldn’t retrieve and get back into formation. We need to go back home.”

“Commander….please...” Dieter begged, but Erwin just stared at him, seemingly no compassion in his heart.

“Those are your orders.” Erwin said before he turned his back. Levi turned to follow him.

“Do the two of you have no human feelings left in your hearts?!” Dieter yelled after them, but they both ignored him. It was nothing they hadn’t heard before. The new ones always take a while to adjust to this life, it wasn’t their fault, they just hadn’t been through the necessary hurdles yet. They would learn eventually.

“Levi, you’re limping.” Erwin said, half turning his head to look back at Levi as they walked toward the wagons.

“In my attempt to save Eren from the female titan I landed wrong and injured myself. I’ll be able to make it back to the walls safely.” Levi assured him.

“Good job, Levi. You kept Eren safe, at the cost of your squad.”

“And many others.”

“That’s what we’re all here for, after all. No matter what it takes and how many people die. We have to get to the bottom of this.”

“I know...” Levi said. It was reminiscent of what he’d said when Isabel and Farland had died. He wasn’t sure if Erwin was trying to comfort him or trying to make him suppress his feelings even more.

“When we get back to the walls, I want you to take a few days to yourself. You deserve it.”

“Yes, sir.” Levi answered. They all mounted their horses and were moving out when they saw a black flare from the rear of the group. Levi looked back to see Dieter and his friend riding feverishly toward the group. Dieter had a dead body draped over his back and he knew that they’d done exactly what himself and Erwin had told them not to.

“Damn it. Erwin! Titans!” Levi shouted forward.

“Can you fight?” Erwin asked.

“The terrain here isn’t ideal for our 3DM gear. Besides that, my injury will prevent me from using my left foot. We can’t fight here.” Levi yelled as one of the riders bringing the titans in was snatched and eaten.

“Just keep riding. We can out run them.” Erwin said. Levi scowled and fell back toward the wagon that was carrying the bodies. He knew exactly what their only hope was.

“You, open the back of the wagon and throw the bodies out.” He said to the man that was riding in the wagon.

“Are you kidding?” The man asked, mortified.

“Would you rather die or would you rather sacrifice the dead to live?” Levi asked, but he already knew what the answer would be. The man opened the gate and started throwing bodies out one by one. The third one out of the wagon was Petra. Levi turned his head as her body hit the ground and rolled toward the rampaging titans, which began to slow in order to eat the bodies that were bouncing toward them. The Scouts marched on toward the gates with the memory of their fallen comrades, but not much else. The operation had been a complete failure and now he wouldn’t even be able to bury Petra. The only thing they could do was get back home without anyone else dying.

He kept trying to push the image of her out of his mind, but it was useless. Every time he thought he’d focused on the task at hand, her face would flash through his mind again. Smiling, always smiling. How could she smile so much in the world they lived in? There was nothing to be happy about here. Any happiness that they would ever find would be snatched away in an instant. It was all he could do to keep tears from welling up in his eyes. There would be a time for that, but it wasn’t now. It wasn’t while the whole of the Scout Regiment rode with him toward home. It would be once he was alone, with nothing but his thoughts, and perhaps a bottle of some kind of liquor. He looked toward Eren and Mikasa. They seemed to be untouched by the last titan attack. As far as he knew they’d only lost one or two more people from the initial casualty count. He didn’t know the total number for the mission, but that could be confirmed when they got back. As far as he was concerned, there was only one that counted. _Petra. I’m sorry._

 

The ride back to the gates was a long one, but they finally made it just before dusk. This was always the worst part. The whispers from the people they passed weren’t whispers any more, they were shouts. The people were always angry with them when they got back. More tax dollars down the drain. More people dead because of their ridiculous cause. It was always the same. He had learned to tune all that out, but he wasn’t prepared for what would happen next.

“Captain Levi!” The voice sounded oddly familiar, but he couldn’t place where he’d heard it before. He glanced out of the corner of his eye to see Petra’s father walking toward him, a huge smile on his face. He knew where Petra got her infectious smile now. “Captain Levi, I wanted to thank you for getting my daughter back to me safely. I haven’t seen her yet, but I’m sure she’ll turn up once the crowd clears. She sent me letters about you, she always had such good things to say. She told me how you hand picked her because of her skills. She’s so proud of that. She really looks up to you, you know.” The more the man talked, the more grim Levi’s expression got. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at the man for fear of seeing his daughter in his features. “I know it’s too soon to think about this, I mean you’re both still so young and who knows what could happen, but you shouldn’t rule out marriage right now. She’s told me about the chemistry the two of you have.” Levi winced when Mr. Ral brought up marriage to his daughter. In a different world…

“Mr. Ral...I’m…I’m so sorry…” He started, and he still couldn’t look at the man. He stopped in his tracks, the rest of the Scouts moving around the two of them as they stood in the middle of the street. It was as if he and Petra’s father were the only two people on the earth in that moment.

“Sorry? For what?” Mr. Ral asked. Levi pulled the patch out of his pocket that he’d taken off of Petra’s jacket. He had the feeling that her father would need it more than he did. He handed the patch over to the man and saw the pieces starting to fall into place.

“Petra...she was a very brave soldier, and my most trusted subordinate. She died protecting one of her comrades from a titan. This patch was hers. I think you should have it.” Levi said in almost a whisper. He held back tears as he spoke to Mr. Ral, trying his best not to break down right there in the middle of the street.

“You can’t be serious...Petra...”

“The letter she wrote you were true. We had a connection. She was the only person I could truly trust. The Scout Regiment has lost a wonderful soldier, and I’ve lost a friend that can never be replaced. I’m so sorry...” Levi said, looking at Mr. Ral one last time before he limped around the sobbing man and continued on his path to headquarters. He and Erwin would have to report to the higher ups, and Eren was to be turned over to the authorities immediately. Erwin had said he wanted him to take a few days off when they returned, but Levi didn’t see how that was possible. Did he need them? Yes. Absolutely. Could he afford them? Absolutely not. He wouldn’t let everything they’d been working for be taken away. He couldn’t let Eren be taken or killed. Not after Petra had given her life to protect him and make sure he got back safely. He steeled himself for the meeting that he would inevitably have to attend. There would be time to feel bad for himself later. Captain Levi wasn’t done yet and, truth be told, he didn’t believe that Captain Levi would ever truly be done. There was no other Levi now, only the one that had sworn to avenge his friends. Only the Levi that had sworn to Erwin that he would help reveal the truth about titans no matter what. Levi the soldier remained and nothing more, and that was the way it would be from now until his death.

 


End file.
